Well, I guess it's been a little while. Kurt and I split up last Tuesday. No drama to speak of, just the usual unrequited love story. So I got dumped. It's all for the best, blah blah blah.....all that crap. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't get into it right now.
So yeah, that's life right now, in a nutshell. Lots of TV and cigarettes, not much sleep. Still waiting for that Gloria Gaynor phase to kick in.
Motivation, when needed, is borrowed by watching Buffy kick ass for twelve hours straight, then quickly deflated when I turn on the radio and hear an announcement for The Reverse/Bleed show, which is tonight. I'm supposed to go. Told everyone I'd go, just to prove no hard feelings, try to have a good time. Just don't know if I want to see and hear Kurt singing, "I need you baby, but you can't tame me," and, "You can beat my heart black if you want to," followed by the 15-minute extended live version of Bleed's "No Greater Love," know what I mean?
Lots of ghosts lurking about. Dreams and such. I felt better after going to Rockford and wallowing there for a day. Rockford usually helps my mood, because no matter how bad I feel, I can always go there and think, "Well, it could be worse. I could be living *here*." And then I came back with the Buffy Season Four DVD set from Trace, and thought "Buffy. Yeah. That'll make me feel better." So I made some popcorn to eat while I watched, and as I sat down with the bowl on my lap, I realized that the last time I ate popcorn was while watching "Lord of the Rings" with Kurt. It's like that Buddhist lesson in meditation. "Let your thoughts be free. Let them roam where they will - just don't think about an elephant."
Posted by stephanie at November 26, 2003 11:35 AM