Days passing like water. Reading 1984 still, about halfway through. Andy (Reverse) stopped in at Palomino last night to give me a copy of _We_ by Yevgeny Zamyatin, a book written before 1984 and which Andy thinks Orwell had read before writing his own book. Planning on reading _We_ and _Brave New World_ before taking a break from fiction and reading a book on Scientology I picked up in Rockford. I suppose I'm drowning myself in books, and yes, I'm perfectly aware that it's all distraction, but I'm not really sure what else to do right now. For those of you who read this site and do not know me personally, let's just say that my personal life is in a state of upheaval at the moment, hence the detached writing. It used to be that whenever I was going through some kind of emotional turmoil, words would come spilling out almost unwillingly. Now I just feel numb.
Was supposed to go to Rockford for my godson's birthday party today, but am too tired to drive there and back before work. Shift starts at 3:30 today, and I just couldn't justify driving a total of three hours for what would have been a one-hour visit, tops. Looks like I'll be waitressing on Saturdays from now on instead of hostessing, which is a better deal financially. Profitable distraction. Not that I've been doing anything with the money I have made so far this week...it all sits in a pile, waiting to be taken to the bank. Finding it difficult to make lunch, let alone get in a car and drive. I find that, at least in one respect, I'm living in a world which is entirely composed of the present moment and has no connection to or responsibility to any past events or history. My biggest problem this weekend, while Maddie's up north with Ryan, is trying to decide what I'd like to do now that what I most want to do seems unattainable. Up for grabs this evening: Couch Flambeau at Cactus Club, or a benefit for a new feminist bookstore set to open in the next few months. Old-school Milwaukee rock vs. drag queens and kings variety show. Or I could just sit at home and breathe. All three seem equal in their lack of appeal right now.
Just wanted to check in so no one thinks I've checked out.