Names of Stupid Fruity Girly Drinks Tracey and I Will Make (or at least have fun laughing at the idea of) at the High School Prom Rejects Party I'll Be Throwing Sometime in the Next Month:
1. Pretty in Pink (something pink and wrapped in a polka-dot doily.)
2. Dirty, Dirty Dancing (a martini. a dirty one.)
3. The Breakfust ClubBED YOU IN THE MUTHAFUCKIN' HEAD WHAT ABOUT YOU DAD FUCK YOU NO DAD WHAT ABOUT YOU FUCK YOU (something really awful, guaranteed to give a hangover, with a splash of club (GET IT!?) and the drinker must consume with his or her buns taped together.)
4. Heathers: the Part Where Veronica Pukes on Heather Chandler's Shoes ("Lick it up, baby. LICK. IT. UP.")
5. 1991: The Year Your Hymen Broke (something red, something dirty, looks like Courtney Love's mouth blended with Kim Gordon's hair bleach, served with a uterus pate. Consumed to Nirvana's "About a Girl.")
6. Some Kind of Punderful (shaken, not stirred, inside a kick drum, served with the toast, "You look good wearing my future.")
7. Say Anything But That Fucking Line About the Pen (can of beer, outside the Gas 'n Sip on a Saturday night - by choice, man. CHOOSE TO REFUSE.)
8. Sixteen Candles (bomb shots, 16 of them: pour a shot of something sticky through a pair of panties and into a glass of yer favorite sodie-pop. "By night's end, I predict me and her will interface.")
9. Chuck U. Farley (anything strong consumed straight from the bottle while riding in the back of a jeep with a radio set and a hot chick, naked, wearing only a cock ring. Talk hard.)
10. Mr. Sensitive Ponytail Man (a coffee drink, paid for with a compliment that's not in an Eddie Haskell kind of way, consumed at a Soundgarden concert - afterward, call your girlfriend from nowhere near her neighborhood, drunk, as Mr. Casual and introduce yourself as Mr. New.)
I really should use Maddie's naptime more constructively.
Posted by stephanie at February 2, 2005 04:18 PM