April 13, 2005

I've Got to Start Removing the Nicotine Patch Before Bedtime...

Monday night, I had a dream that I was sent to jail because of all of my parking tickets. The tickets had been paid, but for some reason the judge saw it fitting that I be used as an example to others, and sentenced me to a year in a women's prison. My cellmate, although otherwise friendly, was a complete slob and wanted to convert me somehow to being 100% lesbian, and I ended up crying and calling my mother, begging her to appeal the decision so that I could see Maddie on her first day of kindergarten.
Last night, I dreamt that I was at a Braid show, and the guys told Trace that they'd written a new song for us. They were riding skateboards back and forth across the floor, from a refreshments table in the back of the room to the stage in front, and eating MASSIVE - like, as big as my head - chunks of onions that had been soaked in vodka. They had an onion-eating contest, then commenced playing their new song, each member pausing here and there to throw up. The crowd, including Trace and I, loved it.

Posted by stephanie at April 13, 2005 09:48 AM
Comments

...versus 62.5% lesbian?

Posted by: Paul P at April 13, 2005 11:57 AM

Versus being bisexual.

Posted by: Steph at April 13, 2005 01:45 PM