thorvalson.net : babble ether

Update

Okay, so out of the four items listed on the To Do List below, only one was actually achieved, and of course, that would be Number 4. Greg and I left Milwaukee with books and blankets last Saturday, and headed for an afternoon of relaxation at Harrington Beach. We didn't come back until Wednesday. 'Nough said.

Animals I have ridden in the last week: Horse (check). Camel (check).
Other: Bump Into Acquaintance of "the Guy With the Bunny Head" in Obscure Door County Bar (check).
Drink Old Style on Tap at Same Bar (check - hi, Dad!).
Drink Pabst Blue Ribbon Out of Cans in VW Parked in Lot of First Drive-In Theatre I've Ever Been To, While Watching Kick Ass Action Flick (check).
Sleep in Makeshift Bed on Beach With True Love, Reading Pablo Neruda and Watching the Gulls (gag, smile, and check).

Maddie's back home again, and much to my surprise, is not insisting on Cocoa Puffs and other forms of kiddie crack for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and "midnight snacks" (MIDNIGHT! YOU WERE UP UNTIL MIDNIGHT?!). As is the common response of most parents who are abandoned by their children for a full ten days (or not, as I could be making this up entirely to justify my own weakness), I was quite worried that my daughter would come home from this particular trip with not only the afore-mentioned yooper accent complete with dead animal trophy to hang on the wall, but at least one or two nasty habits for me to surgically extract from her being, such as Getting Her Way All the Time, or Making Fart Noises With Her Armpit. Luckily for me - and to the credit of her grandparents (thank you, Scott and Nancy!) - none of these horrors resulted from her first vacation away from The Heavies, and my little girl is safely home once more, with no evidence thus far of Christian fanaticism.

Speaking of Christian fanatacism...
Opinions, please. Not that I care, not that your opinions will have any bearing whatsoever on my decision, but because I am a sadist, riddle me this: Maddie's grandparents (one in particular) have been requesting, since Maddie's in utero days, that I/we (Maddie's father) have Maddie baptized. The One Particular Grandparent's beliefs are so firm that, for Maddie's first year of life, all of her holiday cards were addressed to "Baby." Why? Because Maddie had not been baptized, so according to the OPG, without a "Christian name," she apparently had no name at all. "Happy Easter to Baby! Love, OPG." Much speculation could be made as to whether or not OPG was being passive-agressive or just being cutesy in her own way, but I was not amused. Yes, this was a "love child", conceived in about as sinful a situation as you can get, but she was MY baby and SHE HAS A NAME, GOD DAMMIT! And I most certainly did notice, when the first birthday had passed (the date by which Maddie should have been baptized or else suffer eternal damnation), the sudden switch in greeting cards, which were then finally addressed to "Maddie," but included the obligatory Bible quote to remind me how much Jesus loves the little children.
So! A few weeks ago, Maddie's dad, after coming back from a trip north to visit his family, had asked me again: "Could we just get her baptized?" Not because he's gung ho about it, but because he's sick of hearing the complaints.
My view is this:
a) Acccording to the dogma of OPG's church, Maddie has already missed the One Year window of opportunity, and by this standard, it would appear that she is already damned, gosh darn it. Too late! Guess I'll have to do some repenting.
b) I'm not Lutheran! If the idea is to raise your children according to the beliefs of their ancestors, then this family is split and Maddie is a 100% natural-born Unitarian. Or agnostic, or atheist. Not only is the Lutheran church not "my church," it ain't even my grandmaw's. So there.
c) Maddie is four years old, and too young to understand the differences between religious philosophies, knowledge which could help her decide which way her cookie should crumble (or reassemble itself and rise again). I will have her baptized the moment she can tell me, "Mom, I'm a (insert religious affiliation here), because I believe (insert dogma here)." On that day, I will happily march her to the church or synangogue or magick circle of her choice, complete with tithings for the envelope.
d) She's my kid, and YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
e) Even Jesus is cool with not going to church. Uh, didn't he destroy the temple, and then say some stuff about "turn a leaf and you will find me, lift a stone and I am there"? All about how God is everywhere, and not to be defined by dogma and the laws of men? The next time someone asks why Maddie doesn't go to a Christian church, I swear I'm just gonna tell them that Jesus wrote her an excuse.
"Please excuse Madilyn Larsh from eternal damnation. God is everywhere, and she'll bump into Her eventually. Love, Jesus.
p.s. What the hell is up with Tom Cruise?"

So the dilemma is this: Do I bite my tongue (and my ego, and my belief in freedom of religion) and allow them to get her all gussied up for God for Dad's sake (when Dad doesn't buy into the church, either), and try to ignore the light of the gleaming halo that will henceforth hover over my little heathen's head, or, do I insist that poor Dad be subject to verbal harrassment long after Maddie's painted pentagrams on the wall with the blood of a newborn calf?

It's quite obvious that I've already made a decision in this regard. I'm just interested in hearing what anyone else thinks. WWYD?
Tawk amongst yehselves, comment below if you wish.

Shameless Promotion: The Chariots Race album is officially released today! Go buy it!

Posted by stephanie at July 12, 2005 12:24 PM