So (nope, no comma, no pause, one breath sorry) tonight is my first night alone in the new house. Well, unless you count Maddie, which I don't, unless she has secretly been studying martial arts, dagger throwing, whathaveyou, and thus stands even the smallest chance of beating the ass of any would-be intruders of the Great Stephke Collective Abode. Seeing as the girl is half whacked on painkillers and antibiotics ("it willprobably give her" *ahemexplosive* "diarreah"), my money's on the serious superpsycho killers.
Greg left for our friends' wedding in Kansas City today, leaving me behind to reflect... Didn't we move in together so we wouldn't have to spend any more nights alone? Did you not read the fine print of the Manual that clearly read, Do not leave Stephanie unattended for even one night lest you invoke the Eeyoric melancholy of the Pout Princess? I'm okay, really. Since when did I become one of those frighteningly dependent women who absolutely cannot survive without a man around? Harumph.
He did call this afternoon, lost somewhere among the cornfields on a "little weiner highway" (scout's honor: his words), sputtering a story between giant guffaws of laughter, something "junk pile" and "helmet" and "bachelor party tomorrow night." The phone cut off halfway through the story, but given a where a = Greg, Wanish, Ackerman, Byron, Hobart, etc.; plus b where b = Kansas City; plus Junk Pile HELLmet and the fact that Greg and Wanish were at one time in a band together called SNOW SHOVEL and, well, you judge for yourselves:
YOU BROKE MY HEART --
I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM!
EVIL SLUDGE!
EVIL SLUDGE!
And then there's
CHEESE FUDGE:
THE SNACK WITH A GRUDGE
and, oh yeah, um, justalittlebitmaybe, you know, a smidgen of ALCOHOL....
***side note: while I'm thinking of it boys, what's up with all the "-udge" rhymes?***
I'm sure I will hear plenty of stories upon my arrival on Friday, and really they can wait until we come home because I'm interested in generating some stories of my own. This woman is ready for some rock 'n roll. Some dancin'. Some booty-grabbin'. (Yes, dear. Only yours. And maybe Kate's.)
All this, just to say...
Goin' to Kansas City. Vacation much needed. Will probably drink too much, but will definitely have good time.
Posted by stephanie at May 10, 2006 09:42 PMcheck check...
Posted by: Steph at May 23, 2006 09:02 AM