Yeah, so remember that stuff about Dumpster Day? I'm a bit sad to admit that my zen-like tendencies toward minimalism were nowhere to be found yesterday. I tried to get into it, I really did. But the feeling just wasn't there. I'm justifying this with the thought that I donate enough to the "CLOTHES AND SHOES" box outside the local gas station on a bimonthly basis that a once-a-year dump isn't really necessary for me. With relatively few things to get rid of, why march them ALL the WAY aCROSS the STREET when I could just walk them to my car at the end of the sidewalk?
I still haven't told Maddie of our plans to sell the house. It's not that I'm afraid to tell her. It's not in my nature to NOT tell someone something important out of fear. I'm usually the polar opposite: this is what's happening; now deal. Not only that, but I firmly believe that the key to a long-lasting communicative relationship between any two people - including mother and daughter - is hinged upon honesty. If we can't be open and honest with each other, then everything that follows is likewise. Not telling her of our plans is robbing her of the opportunity to have a say in them, and while final decisions regarding her will always be made by me, I'd like for her to at least be able to tell me how she feels about whatever decisions are being made. Whether we agree or not. Mothering small children = letting your children feel as though they have a say when, ultimately, they don't. Happy, shiny people holding hands. Led by their dictator.
My hesitancy lies in the fact that there isn't yet a confirmed Next Stop on the road map. I can't pull a rug out from under her feet - her nimble little feet, which will surely find their balance more quickly than I think - without spreading out some kind of picture of what is to come. Part of me thinks that "I don't know" is sometimes the only answer, and if that's the best I can do right now, then that's all I can do. But I'm still battling with the need to reassure her.
Life's a stark sheet of pulp, Maddie. No one really knows what's going to happen next.
Wear your seat belt.