thorvalson.net : babble ether

Ten Things I Have Learned in the Last Two Weeks

1. If your vehicle didn't pass emissions and is therefore unregistered but has had repairs to fix the emissions problem and needs to be driven approximately 250 miles before being re-tested, you might be towed.

2. If your car has been towed by the City, you will need proof of registration to retrieve your vehicle. At some point, the question* will arise: If you can't get your car out of hock without registration and you can't register your car without an emissions test ( obviously requiring the presence of the f^%&ing vehicle), will the City Tow Lot continue to charge you a $20 storage fee for your vehicle until you die a cold hard winter in Wisconsin death after waiting for a City bus in December that never arrived? Or will the Dept. of Transportation allow you to register your plates on the condition that you re-test for emissions within a specified time period?

*The answer is that the DOT will give, but will require you to visit the DMV as part of the process, subsequently causing you to lose your freaking mind in the midst of this dilemma, significantly reducing your ability to sit and wait... and wait... for the stoned car retriever guy (I smelled it! while I was waiting alone in the cold!) to slooooooowly fetch your car from a sea of towed vehicles half the size of my hometown and idle it through the barbed wire gates to your freezing hands.

3. If you should ever find yourself having a panic attack, don't panic! Help is on the way. No? Damn. Um, I'm sorry.

4. If at any time during this process you need to get a hold of your anatomy instructor, just proceed without direction, because you won't receive any.

5. If you pay for medical services on the day of service (sounds like mechanics, right? It is) at any branch of a particularly well-known and respected hospital in Milwaukee, you will receive a 40% discount. THAT'S LIKE A COUPON. ON SALE, people.

6. Prescription drugs, though less fun than street drugs in that good ol' traditional fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-off-the-nearest-rooftop sort of way, can be significantly less expensive.

7. One word: decaf.

8. Okay, another word: shower.

9. Nietzsche was right: what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Or at least really funny for a while. Take it on the road! Profit from your pain. If strength isn't always a good thing, having a steady income certainly is.

10. If you truly love someone, you will always love them. You can't just shut it off. No matter what.

Posted by stephanie at November 30, 2007 06:37 AM