I don't know how much I'll have to say in this last half of the semester regarding school. The classes themselve are going alright; it's me I'm worried about. My doctor prescribed some anti-anxiety meds back in November that I was quite proud to say I didn't need much of the last few months - nothing for a while, then only once a week or so. The last week, I've taken it almost every day. I am only taking 1/3 of the recommended dose (and my Rx is for the lowest dosage manufactured), but I still don't like the idea of resorting to medication just to get through the day. Who would have thought one would need to be on drugs to make it through nursing school. Kinda counterintuitive, don't you think? The combined effect of all the contributing factors would be much less to deal with if it weren't for... well, the multitude of contributing factors. Did I mention last post that I'm dropping down to part time in the summer?
This is desperately hard. I feel so out of touch with my family and friends, and the lack of time to take care of myself the way I should is not helping. And it's hard not to think the worst of your own health when a) you know it isn't where it should be, and b) you spend 3/4 of your time studying physiology and defense mechanisms. Ignorance is bliss. I keep thinking I should treat myself to something nice here and there, but the nice things just don't fit into my schedule. I couldn't even visit a family member who's been in the hospital for the last three weeks because I had to get home from Rockford in time to make dinner and get Maddie ready for school tomorrow. And so far, it's looking like my 30th birthday will be spent taking a Lifespan exam and waiting tables at the Palomino. Oh, the glamour.
I'm staying home from A&P tomorrow. There's nothing vital going on, and I'm finding that I learn more in A&P by studying on my own than attending the class. I've already emailed the homework to my instructor, and the time will be better spent studying for the microbiology test on Tuesday. End rationalization.
On a happier note, life will improve next month when my schedule slows down in late April. In the meantime, I'm trying to come up with a low-key, inexpensive, meaningful and fun way to spend my 30th birthday. A few key friends and family members, a glass of wine and a nice dinner, followed by a few more glasses of wine at a bar of my choice. Get my mom drunk and then take over the jukebox at the Palomino and shoot some pool, ring in my 30s with a raging hangover, American-style. Or just sit and tell stories, have my favorite Irishman Barry Dodd come and play me a love song.
Ideas?
Posted by stephanie at March 2, 2008 08:18 PM