Just got back from Rockford. Good thing I have a station wagon. Jesus. Maddie got the CRAP spoiled out of her this year, which rocks. Thanks to everyone who contributed to her spoiledrottenness.
Xmas Eve was good - time with the fam, got to see my Uncle Kevin from San Fran, which was nice. Haven't seen him in quite a while. Jenny got her kicks in by having everyone draw envelopes from a bag, then saying that the cards were from "someone who couldn't be here..." Of course, we're all thinking it's scratch-off tickets, to represent my dad. I'm thinking I'd better find some E&J brandy somewhere, everyone's drawing deep breaths, preparing for SobFest 2003... So we open the cards, and they're all goofy pictures of Jenny and Paul's dog, Fletcher, dressed up in various festive decorations. Mine had Fletcher sitting in such a way that it looks as though there's a giant poinsettia coming out of his ass. What I thought was a giant boner turns out to be how he's hung normally. No wonder he's a little excitable.
My sister rocks.
Paw Paw today to see the grandfolks, and they are grand indeed. Usual holiday gathering, Grandma's fabulous dinner and dessert, bunch of crazy kids running around geeked up on chocolate. Good stuff. I forget sometimes how big my family is. Nice to see everyone. My grandparents are getting to that age when, because I only see them a few times a year, I can't help but thinking every time we say goodbye that this could be the last. I know, it's morbid, but I can't help it. It's not a sorrowful thing, just a recognition of where they are in their lives. Of course, I hope they live lots longer, happily and with good health...but when people start getting up towards 75, those thoughts can't be helped. That kind of shit seems to be on my mind a lot lately. Life, people getting older, new babies coming in, all the generations moving on. Can't believe Jenny's going to be 24 in February. And my daughter, MY DAUGHTER, is going to be THREE. I've been a mom for three years already. I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and Maddie's kids are going to be waking me up from an afternoon nap to tell me it's 2053 and I fell asleep with my pipe lit again.
Christ.
Happy holidays, everybody.
One of the Three Cutest Damn Babies You've Ever Seen!
Weighing in at 8 lbs. 15 oz. and a dazzling 21 1/2 inches long, our little Avabean came into the world at 7:45 p.m. on Wednesday, December 17th, 2003. Maddie and I went to visit the Gessner fam (I think the word "fam" needs to be upgraded to "clan" now...) on Saturday and spent the whole day running around being crazy. Well, Maddie and Juli were nuts. Trace and I sat around, I helped make the girls' lunches and pretty much did all the chasing up and down stairs, as Trace is pretty much stationary for the next week or so.
I wish I didn't have a job so that I could just hang out there and play nanny for the next, say, fifteen years. Trace and I always said we'd live near each other when we grew up and had babies, and even though things didn't work out *quite* like I expected on my end, we're still super close and I wish this closeness was a little more of the geographical variety! I WANNA SEE MY GIRLS! After Saturday, I can't help but think about moving closer to the clan. I know it'll never happen (can't stand the 'burbs, and Rockford ......ew.....), but a girl can fantasize, can't she?
I'm compromising by having Juli stay the night sometime in the next few weeks, just to have a big sleepover/slumber party, although I doubt there will be much slumbering going on. Looking forward to the mania. My neighbors are gonna be pissed, which in turn makes me happy.
Maddie opened all her Yule gifts on the eve of Solstice. She loved all her presents (especially the Hungry Hungry Hippos game from me and the Nemo stuffed animal from Ryan). Ate lots of chocolate, stayed up late, and the "Solstice fairy" (aka Me) stuffed a stocking during the night for her to awaken to in the morning. Fun stuff. She's on a steady diet of apples, yogurt, and chocolate for the last three days. She won't stop playing her new games for anything else. Oh well. Gotta let the kid be a kid every now and then.
Xmas in Rockford tomorrow, then Paw Paw on Xmas Day. My uncle Kevin will be coming into town from San Francisco, which is exciting. Can't wait to see him. Also looking forward to trying to get my great-grandfather's banjo from my grandma ;). Andy is starting a country band, and whether or not I'm ever good enough to be in it, I'd still like to learn how to play. She doesn't play anymore - her hands are too arthritic - so I'm sure she'd be more than happy to give it to me, knowing that it will be put to good use.
Still bouncing back and forth between emotions, and the holidays aren't really helping much. Part of me just wants to stay home and finish off that bottle of rye, but I know that's a bad idea, and I really do want to see Maddie enjoying her first "real" Xmas. I'm sure I'll have Jan to be jaded with tomorrow evening. :) As her Xmas card to me says, "Looking forward to family, food, presents, and BOOZE."
I miss Kurt.
WHOO-HOO! This is, like, so cool. Last night I had a dream that Tracey and I were both having babies at the same time, only mine came out as an egg that had to be hatched and then I couldn't decide whether to name her Vivian (after my grandmother) or Alison, so I called Tracey to see what she thought, and she said, "I can't talk right now; I'm in labor!" and I said, "Call me when you're done!" and she said, "I will!"
And THEN this morning, I tried to call her and no one was answering, and she wasn't online, and I tried calling again later and nothing.....so I thought something might be happening.
And THEN I went shopping for her Xmas present, and as I'm standing in the store looking for her gift (remaining nameless because I obviously haven't given it to her yet), Jason calls my cell phone and says they're at the hospital!!!!
See? Connections, baby. We got 'em.
I'm so happy! And I just bought Ava's Welcome to the World present, too.
Yippee!
Update to come when I hear from Jason.
Shangri-La Records is a kick-ass record store that Kurt and I visited while in Memphis, and they just happen to have an online catalog of nearly everything in the store. Mostly vinyl - lots of blues, old R&B, soul, rock, garage, etc. These guys have something for everyone - check them out here.
Also, the Cactus Club has a website! Check in periodically to see what shows will be going on the next time you come visit me (ha). ;) The Mistreaters have updated their site as well, so if you're a fan of rock 'n roll, then you might wanna take a peek. Pictures from the European tour, as well as a tour diary, have been uploaded. The slide show is extra special neat *sniff....a little choked up, sorry...*.
Oh, let's see... Went to The Reverse/Poor Johns show Saturday night and rocked the fuck out. Post-show breakfast at the Bay View Family Restaurant, where I narrowly escaped being saturated by coffee streaming from Ann's nose after someone made her laugh. Slept in Sunday, went out for dinner with my friend Mike at Nessun Dorma in Riverwest. Nice place - really yummy Thai shrimp curry soup. Finished off the evening at the Cactus Club with Kurt. Uneventful, relaxed sipping of beverages and then home.
A regular at my work gave me his phone number last week. I only mention this because he's a successful attorney, i.e., someone I would *not* expect to have interest in me. "Uh, you know I have tattoos, right?" Not going to call him of course, but it was flattering. Have gotten many compliments in the last week at work, people telling me I look great, which is really absurd because I've lost weight, have had little sleep, and have been smoking a pack a day for at least three weeks now. Have come to the conclusion that it's just holiday season bizarro-world.
Cleaned my house today. Will be finishing laundry and dishes tomorrow.
Went Xmas/Yule shopping for Maddie. $100 goes a long way for a 3-year-old (well, almost 3). Getting excited to start wrapping her gifts. Still hiding them in the closet for now.
Put up tree in Maddie's room last week. Thought she was going to explode, she was so excited, putting on ornaments, adorning with star, etc. Fun to watch.
Next semester is officially off. Yours truly is taking a break from school, due mainly to financial reasons. Looking forward to having free time.
Goals:
Read all the books I bought six months ago and then never read.
Get the banjo from G'ma over Xmas and learn to play it well enough so that Andy will let me in his country band (so that should be in, like, 5 years).
Start volunteering for hospice.
Gain 10 lbs.
Quit smoking, for good.
Buy and spin records.
Go through the pile of notebooks I've accumulated over the last 10 years and try to come up with a book somehow.
Hm.
We'll see.
"It's good to have goals."
Found this article while doing a general search for "Thorvalson" online. It's an article on the release of a loggerhead sea turtle - released in Charleston, by none other than our very own Kelly Thorvalson! :) So proud.
Yeah, just checking in again to say nothing's new. The clock on my computer says 1:37 a.m., Tuesday, which means it's been three weeks and I still haven't done any laundry.
Dirty clothes, dirty house, lots of Sammy Davis Jr.'s "What Now My Love?" going on. Getting more sleep, but only because my body has revolted against me by sentencing me to a cold. Have started having panic attacks. Those are fun.
School's gone to hell in a handbasket. Haven't been to class in four weeks, due to Maddie and I trading illnesses every week. She has strep, I have some kind of cold that feels like a vice around my lungs.
Positive things I should feel good about:
1. Maddie told me today that she loves me, without me saying it first. And that's a first.
2. She also said, "You're so cute, Mommy," which was appreciated, but taken with a grain of salt, because in reality, I'm actually quite pathetic right now.
3. David Treater is apparently still interested in singing "Making Love (Out of Nothing At All)" by Air Supply with me for the upcoming Kellys' show.
4. I may be spinning records with Andy soon, thereby allowing myself to vent my frustrations and anguish via subjecting everyone else to Engelbert Humperdinck, fat 70s jumpsuit Elvis, Sammy, Etta James, Billie Holiday, Junior Kimbrough, etc.
Saving the best for last.....
5. Tracey is currently 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced, which means I should have a new niece sometime in the next week. So looking forward to that phone call. Babies good. Can't wait for little Ava to come into the world! XOOXOXOXOX to Trace, Jay, and Julibean.
Bedtime.