thorvalson.net : babble ether

Pictures!

Here is a photographic summary of the last five weeks of my existence. We'll start with the PG photos and work our way up to Incriminating.

Exhibit A: A few of my fellow cohorts walking into clinical at the hospital, Day One.

Exhibit B: Me, holding a delicate newborn child, my new nephew, Ben. This is to soften my image in your minds to prepare you for upcoming photos. Oh, and my nephew's pretty cool, too.

Exhibit C: Maddie, clearly having a Rock Star Moment. Don't hate her because she's beautiful.

Exhibit D: Cross-stitched evidence of my glorious birth, in celebration of my 30th birthday. First day of spring, the cusp of Pisces and Aries, the Alpha and the Omega of the zodiac. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Sock it to me.

Exhibit E: Kickin' It Old School with the Palomino OGs (that's Original Gangstas, lest ye question). Reunited and it feels so good.

Exhibit F: Nurses (And a Teacher) Gone Wild.

Exhibit G: Me and my Annie Bananny in a little pic I like to call, "I luv errybody... I luv u gyyyyyyz..."

Exhibit H: Oklahoma Patsy demonstrates to Mississippi Brooke one method of supporting the scrotum during a testicular examination? "And they-ehn..." "Mah lord! Y'all are crazy."

Exhibit I: Justin lets his hair down for the first time ever in our presence, in which process we discover our friend is not who we thought he was, but has morphed irrevocably into Matt Dillon's character from "Singles". I don't mean that in an Eddie Haskell kinda way.

And finally, Exhibit J, just prior to our leaving, much to the relief of probably everyone else in the bar: Lori, starting off the dance party right.

I turned 30. Ann, whom most of us had deemed The One Who Would Never Marry (nevermind we never said it to her face - she'd probably have punched us)... Our little Annie is getting married (sniff). We laughed. Until we cried. And closed the bar. And packed six people into my Saturn. And played guitar and ate cheescake until the wee hours. I have not had that much fun in one night in years, something my liver is undoubtedly grateful for. No one in this circle is allowed any milestones until our nervous systems are back in proper working order.

Back to the drawing board...

Nursing Nerdity, continuing against my wishes. Also, with apologies to my mother, who should avoid reading the last paragraph.

Okay, we're getting to the pathetic whining stage of the semester now, so I'll try to spare everyone as best I can. The workload has let off just enough to allow me the time to reflect (or, as was the case last night, barf up a bunch of popcorn for no apparent reason - just how I wanted to spend my weekend), my mid-term grades were good enough to give the illusion of permanence and stability, and the number of remaining weeks can be counted on one hand. I. Just. Want it. To be. Over.

Of course, as soon as I'm three weeks into the next semester, I'll probably be complaining about how much more time I have, what with the two classes as opposed to four, and how shitty it is to be here in my apartment ALONE with the CAT and being THIRTY and good lord, someone just smack me and get it over with already.

You know, I say that, but in all honesty I'm pretty excited to turn 30. This is when all the good shit is supposed to happen. Although, given what my teens were like, this whole "sexual peak" business could get dangerous. Guess I'll have to find alternative means of relief, given my relationship status. Lock up your cylindrical garden vegetables, folks. IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE! Get it?!

Oh, help.

If only I'd brought my camera...

Saw Bob Mould tonight at Shank Hall - without getting too sloppy, I'd like to briefly mention two things:

1) It is so good to take just a few hours out of my time to completely drown myself in music I've been listening to for so many years, to hear the new songs and the old songs meshed together so seamlessly and walk out of a show with my ears ringing and my head clear, ecstatic.

2) Have you ever been to a show and taken a look around and thought to yourself, "Oh, these people are all, like, my parents' age, and then realized that, no, your parents are getting older now and not only that, but - holy shit - I am closer to that age group now. I looked over the crowd tonight, and let me tell you, there were a number of balding heads. And you know what? I loved it. All I could think was that, if I had brought Maddie with me, she might have enjoyed the music, but would have spent a great deal of time looking around and thinking, "What's up with all these OLD people thinking they're COOL?" And I would have been included in that group.

Bob Mould, you rock my world. Tracey, you should have been there.

If affection holds you back
then what is left to hold
if I could find the answer to that question
then I'd know
the thoughts that clutter up your mind
and leave me feeling drained
and walking, pacing up the walls
across the floor again

forming a conclusion
and you're left standing

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, TRACE - my bestest friend in the whole wide world, cheesehead soul sista sticky bitch JCS temptress music mixer ass kicker extraordinaire. I'd say, "If I'd known in 7th grade we'd still be friends...", but I did know, I totally called that shit, and I think we've done pretty damn good so far. You are the lighthouse in my life, and I love you forever.

Nursing Nerdity

All geek, no flare here, folks. The poet/English major has checked out for the evening.

Clinical Day Two: 1st official day with a patient. Assigned in teams of two to one pt each. Spent part of the morning studying, then forced myself to lay down for an hour before eating lunch and heading out the door - helped the nerves tremendously. We couldn't have asked for a nicer patient - very agreeable, understanding, kind, and cooperative. Waiting for the other shoe to drop next week. So far, so good. Instructor seems confident in me, and I had a few opportunities to help with other patients besides my own, giving me an introduction into contact precautions for C. diff (medicalspeak for "explosive diarrhea" and that's all you need to know). The textbook aspects of the fundamentals seem to be coming together just fine, and I warmed up to our patient very quickly - I just kept reminding myself to put on the waitress hat whenever I walked into the room. It's getting used to the environment and equipment that gets a little awkward at times. So I jumped at any chance that came up to help out with little things (and there were only about two chances - evening shift), just to get used to feeling like a moron, I guess. I could read the charts just fine and had no problem with the terminology, and then just as I'm about to pat myself on the back, the stupidest little thing - like where to dump a graduated cylinder full of urine (can I just dump it in the toilet? (yes) do I just rinse this out and leave it here? (yes again)...) - made me feel like a complete idiot. Someone asked for another glass of ice water. I asked the other student in the room, "Where's the ice?" She gave me a look that clearly said, "You have got to be kidding me." And it does seem ridiculous. I can conjure multi-syllabic medical terms by pasting together Latin roots - when I've never even taken fucking Latin - but can't seem to figure out where and when it's okay to dump the piss.

Live and learn.

Fuck you, microbiology.

Midterm grade: 99%. That would be an "A".

Nursing Nerdity

I don't know how much I'll have to say in this last half of the semester regarding school. The classes themselve are going alright; it's me I'm worried about. My doctor prescribed some anti-anxiety meds back in November that I was quite proud to say I didn't need much of the last few months - nothing for a while, then only once a week or so. The last week, I've taken it almost every day. I am only taking 1/3 of the recommended dose (and my Rx is for the lowest dosage manufactured), but I still don't like the idea of resorting to medication just to get through the day. Who would have thought one would need to be on drugs to make it through nursing school. Kinda counterintuitive, don't you think? The combined effect of all the contributing factors would be much less to deal with if it weren't for... well, the multitude of contributing factors. Did I mention last post that I'm dropping down to part time in the summer?

This is desperately hard. I feel so out of touch with my family and friends, and the lack of time to take care of myself the way I should is not helping. And it's hard not to think the worst of your own health when a) you know it isn't where it should be, and b) you spend 3/4 of your time studying physiology and defense mechanisms. Ignorance is bliss. I keep thinking I should treat myself to something nice here and there, but the nice things just don't fit into my schedule. I couldn't even visit a family member who's been in the hospital for the last three weeks because I had to get home from Rockford in time to make dinner and get Maddie ready for school tomorrow. And so far, it's looking like my 30th birthday will be spent taking a Lifespan exam and waiting tables at the Palomino. Oh, the glamour.

I'm staying home from A&P tomorrow. There's nothing vital going on, and I'm finding that I learn more in A&P by studying on my own than attending the class. I've already emailed the homework to my instructor, and the time will be better spent studying for the microbiology test on Tuesday. End rationalization.

On a happier note, life will improve next month when my schedule slows down in late April. In the meantime, I'm trying to come up with a low-key, inexpensive, meaningful and fun way to spend my 30th birthday. A few key friends and family members, a glass of wine and a nice dinner, followed by a few more glasses of wine at a bar of my choice. Get my mom drunk and then take over the jukebox at the Palomino and shoot some pool, ring in my 30s with a raging hangover, American-style. Or just sit and tell stories, have my favorite Irishman Barry Dodd come and play me a love song.

Ideas?